IWANTTOGOHOMENOW.

life. at it's best.

2009-03-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

wow. reading all of my past posts, i realized that life is WAY better now. for all of you who used to read this, its a first that i have finally updated this. things have changed. drasticly. im too lazy to type alot. so ill just put up lots of pictures. finally got my car back. that was pretty expensive.

i have new boyfriend...well, not too new. new to my blog, but it's almost been 5 months. next month is half a year. yay! we're moving in together. i couldn't be happier and i plan on being with him for a LONNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG time (: <3

new apartment. its actually nice and big. its in the ghetto. but it's cool. im allowed to have pets and the lady downstairs is alright.

still have the same kitties. they're my kids & lil is pregnant, so ill have kittens soon. i hope i get a white one!

my sister is in basic training. i miss her. i cant wait to see her in her cute army outfit!

i lost a couple "friends". but if i lost them, then they were never really friends. i gained some new ones that are way better. so im happy. that is all for now. ill post more pictures once my apartment is together and internet is finally set up. 1 week to go!

2008-07-31T22:33:00.000-07:00

life has been surprisingly better. i've become more productive & done more with my life this past month, than in the past year. im pretty happy.

my new apartment is great. i no longer feel like a bum. living with my parents. i have to do everything on my own. but it's nice. im working 7 days a week. so i can have extra money. im living pretty comfortably.

i'm looking for a new car, but there isn't anything that ive seen that i can't live without. my car is ready to die though. its been leaking anti-freeze. im not trying to deal with that. ive had several guy friends look at it & they cant figure it out. so im not wasting my money on it.

i'm so full of knowledge now, i read constantly, do something productive with my free time. melissa and i went to barnes and knobel yesterday. i picked up 3 photography books. you can never know too much of something you love. i've been taking so many pictures & getting so many comments on my work. ive heard that im progressing into a talented artist. that makes me happy that someone else thinks that about me. i love having bands & people ask me to do photos for them. i think i found my secret ability/art. dont get me wrong, i still paint and draw, but im so wrapped up in photography. its great. bryant gave me an old camera he found in his attic. its a minolta xg-m. a 35mm. with an after market zoom lense. it works! i am so excited to use it. i just need a good oppertunity....

ive made so many new friends since bryant i broke up. alot of people i stopped talking to came around again and we mended things. its nice. im back to where i was. i discovered who my friends are, and who are the ones that just hung out with me b/c of who i dated. my true friends told me that they'd support me in whatever i do. its nice to have people who care & back me up in my decisions. even if it is to start again with bryant.

things could better i guess, in the boyfriend department. im not looking for co-dependency though. just maybe a best friend type boyfriend? i know, i know, alot of people are giving me hell about bryant. i can't help it. if only you could see the whole story. both sides. everything. one of my friends, who knows both of us told me today that there has to be a reason why we keep doing this. he can clearly see we're all about eachother. those were his exact words.it made me think. i thought all day. im still thinking...i guess we'll see what happens. i'm open minded about the situation. if he wants this to work, then we'll make it work. those were the last words i heard. if not, then i guess it's done. i cant do anything about it. all i know is that either way, ill be happy.

i have some new pictures ill be putting up soon. im changing my myspace around. ive been getting so many messages and requests for shoots, im going to make a photography myspace & my personal myspace, i think. idk yet. it's so nice out, im going outside to take more pictures :) check back soon! <3

2008-07-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

an update on life.

july's almost over. i haven't updated in months. let's see...

bryant and i are finally over. after months of fighting and constant lies from him, he decided to break up with me. again.
i decided its the last straw. the past 7 months were a joke. a waste of time.
i'm done being played.
i'm done dating assholes who think they're better than everyone because they're HARCORE.
im done being lied to about who he's talking to and what he does.
plain and simple. i didnt trust him & he didnt give me a reason to.
especially when talked to me about trust, saying that he understands why i dont trust him & hes going to work on it...when he's clearly lying to my face about whats going on inside his house. especially when hes lying to the other girls he's with too.
i've never had hated for someone. i just plain out hate him now. yeah, its shitty of me to hate someone, but i dont have any other way to describe it.
bryant stahl; youre a selfish asshole. you will NEVER change. i dont feel bad for you. maybe someday youll grow up. you were SO right when you said you were still a kid.
i'm sorry i'm not what you want. i'm sorry im not a scene whore. i'm sorry i dont have stretched ears. i'm sorry i never came from the hxc scene. i'm me. i'm sorry you cant like me for me.

but enough about ex boyfriends...
i'm moved into my apartment. i brought winter and lilly too!
my room mates are cool. i love melissa and john!
melissa is this happy go lucky girl. she always has high spirits & cheers me up when im bummed.
we've been spending lots and lots of time together. yesterday we dressed up, went out to the mall & some new things. it was fun!
we even decided that once a week we're going to dress up & go out to eat & make a day of it. i am wayyyy too excited about it! lol.

john is really laid back, doesnt care what happens. he gives the best advice. hes pretty much calls all the shots when it comes to me and relationships. we share the same music interests and
share clothes. hahaha!

my life is finally getting put into place;
waking up early. getting things done. being in a better mood at work. back to drinking coffee every morning. hahah!
im finding out who my friends are & whos there just there because of who i'm dating.
i'm not trying to date anyone right now. im just letting that happen. if i find someone, then i do. i dont need to rely on anyone anymore. co-dependency is stupid. i can do things on my own. i like it that way too.
although some people are trying to date me, im keeping my options open. you know, just trying to have fun with friends.

2008-06-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

its been forever since i last updated. there has been a lot happening in my life. so far, i moved out of my house & am now living with bryant and his family. it was until i found a place, it didnt take me long, i found one with 2 friends that i recently met. john and melissa. they're so nice & i can even have my cats there! rent is only $100 + utilities = $150. i can deal with that. im basicly staying there until i get enough money to get back on my feet & save enough to move out with bry. living with him is nice, i cant wait until we get our own apartment. life's pretty good. im content right now in some ways...

2008-05-16T21:20:00.000-07:00

life totally went and took a turn for the worst. i was the happiest girl in the world. i had everything i needed. granted, i lost some friends, i was still the happiest girl, ever. i had a job that i liked, a great boyfriend, and a handful of friends. what else could i ask for?

now i find myself here. my room. alone. with nothing. all because of a dumb fight. something i could have fixed. something i could have avoided. i could be with him right now. we could be happy right now. but no, all because i fell head over heels in love with him and all i did was worry about losing him, because things were amazing with us. i never wanted to lose that feeling.

now im stuck with nothing. i dont even know what to do anymore. im miserable. he's always on my mind. im wondering if he's okay. im wondering if he's thinking of me. im wondering what's going to happen from here.

how do you just give something up like that? someone you love so much? i can't. i dont give up either. especially when its someone i care about more than anything in the world and would do anything for.

bryant stahl, i wont give up on you unless you are dead serious that you are through with me. that's a promise ill keep. just like you promised me that the first time we broke up.

im so sorry for everything. im sorry things even ended up the way they did. if i could do anything to take it back, i would. ill never be able to forgive myself until you forgive me.

shitty.

2008-03-22T22:57:00.000-07:00

the past 3 days have been a disaster:

thursday night - went to dev's house. drank a lot. infact, i hate jungle juice, i will never drink it again. all i remember is ian saying "mar you're on your 5th cup, you've had enough" the rest of the night was a blur. fun, but a blur. i paid for it the next day...

friday - spent most of the day throwing up. being sick and hungover. blah. did i mention that i hate jungle juice? i finally managed to get out of bed around 7 and get my ass moving for the day. met up with the girls (char, allie and hayley) went back to dev's. i didnt drink this time. the girls did. allie, hayley and char left. bry showed up around 1 and we hung out for a little. char calls me, crying, apparently, allie and hayley got pulled over and got charged with d.u.i. great. i feel like its my fault because i asked a million times if they were okay to drive. bryant i leave the party & i stayed up most of the night, worrying about the girls.

saturday (today) - work was so slow. i had 2 tables in 4 hours. i walked with $7. great. so whatever, i got cut, came home got dressed and rushed over to see bry. we went to a skatepark in murrysville (near pittsburgh). we get there, not even 10 minutes later, i get a phone call. my sister was riding her bike in philly & she got hit by a car. i was so worried. at the same time, bryant thought he could jump this gap on his board & ended up landing the wrong way on his foot. i could tell something was wrong right away. we drove back to altoona. on the way home, i got pulled over, going 82 in a 55 mile zone. fuck. whatever, so we keep driving back to altoona, and finally get to altoona hospital. 3 hours later, bryant only bruised his foot and the bone really bad. im really glad its not broke though.

tomorrow's easter & i can only imagine how it's going to go....wish me luck!

busy.

2008-03-19T17:20:00.000-07:00

i recently got asked to model for my friend tabitha. i usually dont model. im the one who needs to find models. i agreed because its really had to find anyone. we tried a couple different things. she only sent me 5 pictures to keep me held over until she edited the rest. so far i really like what she sent me.

ive been extremely busy with so many things. work, friends, bryant. just kind of catching up on life. ive been mostly working a lot and saving money so i can find a new car. i really haven't seen anything i can't live without.

2008-02-25T00:14:00.000-08:00

today's my last day of work until saturday. im so excited to be able to spend time with bry and do lots of fun things! so far i have planned:

- take lots of sweet pictures.
- go on long, crazy car rides (road trips)with everyone.
- look for a new car (civic!) & possibly buy one if i find what i want.
- sell my old car.
- look for a house.
- go to state on tuesday with ian, matt, bry and whoever else to the hookah lounge!
- do my taxes!
- catch up on some bills.
- stay up all night and sleep in with bry :]
- go to the tanning bed (lol.)
im excited to be able to just do whatever i want and get away from work for a couple of days. i'm pumped!

oh & on another note...fuck kids from the 'punk scene'. they're all assholes. seriously.

changes.

2008-02-07T21:01:00.001-08:00

the other night, john and i decided to get our septums pierced. i did some research online & everyone said it was the most painful piercing they've ever gotten. i was pretty scared. we went to customs & cheese did a good job. i decided to go first. surprisigly, it didnt hurt at all. it just made my eyes water. its more painful today than it was when i got it pierced. its starting to grow on me. at first, i didnt like it. i can always hide it...

today we went to look at houses. we are all moving in together. im so excited. its going to be a lot of fun. we put an application in for an apartment on maple. its really nice. lots of room. i think it would be perfect. i hope we get it. tomorrow after work we are looking at more...just incase we dont get this one.

i love my life right now. things are falling into place perfectly :]

2008-01-16T08:53:00.000-08:00

im leaving for philly tomorrow at 9am to visit marisa. im pretty excited/scared/sad at the same time. i think it'll be a great thing. i get to see so much art and experience something that isnt altoona, for once. it's only for 4 days, but i know it'll be great and chances are, ill fall in love with the city. i can't wait to take my camera and take so many pictures.

i'm going to miss bryant so much. we've almost been dating for 2 weeks, but it feels so much longer. things couldnt be better with him. he is seriously the best boyfriend i've ever had. lets hope things last.

next week's my birthday. ill be 24. i feel super old & i feel like i haven't done anything with my life. i need to finish school & move out. if things go the way they are now, it would be great.

but enough rambling, i have to go pack my things. keep checking back for new pictures from philly :]

life....

2008-01-12T13:27:00.000-08:00

...is perfect.
& so is he.

im happy.

2008-01-08T16:04:00.000-08:00

wow. things have changed a lot since ive last posted. where to start...well....

josh and i broke up. im now dating someone new. named bryant. he's a sweetheart. we have a great time together. i think things are going to work out. someone once told me that i should try to date out of the group of friends & i did. it worked. no more drama issues with anyone. thank god.

so bry and i went to the campus today & fed the ducks. then we realized there was a "no feeing the ducks" sign. hahaha.

his friends are awesome. i get along with them all really well. we have a good time together too.

besides that, ive been really sick. im still getting over strep. my doctor was going to put me in the hospital but i talked him out of it. thank god. im feeling much better, but i still dont have a voice. hopefully im better before i go to philly next week to visit my sister.

im being realy lazy right now and i dont feel like typing a lot. im sure you dont want to read alot either. i have some resolutions this year, like everyone else does.

1. drink more water.
2. stop eating so much junk food.
3. let things go.
4. save more money.
5. live every day to the fullest.

yep. that's about it. so far i've been doing all of those & things are pretty good.

well, my medicine is kicking in & getting sleepy, so its time for a nap. ill be posting more real soon!

2007-12-26T18:37:00.000-08:00

last saturday, i did a shoot for 'the clover'. they were looking for pictures to put in their cd. they came to me and asked me to do their photos. that excited me to the extreme! i'm pretty happy with the turnout & they really liked them.

we've talked about another shoot coming up soon. probably new year's at aldo's. ill have new lenses by the end of the week and i would love to use them. i've also had 3 other bands contact me about shoots. im pumped!

2007-12-12T19:22:00.000-08:00

okay, maybe ive been a little modest of my work. i really didnt want to share everything. people that have met me in person, friends or anyone that i talk to frequently has seen more of my work than ive posted. i feel like now i am able to show more & i'm starting to feel more comfortable with my work since ive been getting a lot of comments.

i cant help myself anymore..i knew it would come sooner or later, id end up photoshopping everything. i have those spurts sometimes.

anyways, i picked my sister up from the train station today. while i was waiting for her i took some pictures....please leave your thoughts and ideas!

2007-12-09T23:30:00.001-08:00

ive been off work since saturday & dont go back until wednesday.

ive had a really great weekend.

i also met some new artists this weekend. we are sharing thoughts and ideas to start an amazing project together.

yesterday i did a shoot with pam. she wanted some new pictures of herself. we decided to stick to traditional portrait style pictures, even though i've been trying to stray away from that. i didnt post a lot of them though, i just posted some ramdom shots of her.

i have so many new ideas, i cant wait to show & share with everyone.

i have more on my myspace, if you care to look.

2007-12-03T21:53:00.000-08:00

i'm at my breaking point.
grow the fuck up.
you're not in high school anymore & most of you have been out of high school for years.
i've had enough of this fucking shit.
keep it up & im just going to call you out on it.
i swear.

2007-11-29T21:59:00.000-08:00

i really haven't been into the swing of things this week. monday, i called off work. i wasn't feeling too well. i just hung around all day & spent some time with justin. it was nice being able to hang out with him and get along. even though people love to run their mouths about it, i feel there's nothing wrong with being friends with your ex. sorry if you disagree. im a single woman anyways.

besides being sick, ive been lining up shoots. so far ive set up 4 personal shoots, including one of my friend who's a suicide girl & needs new pictures for her portfolio. im excited for that one. i also set up 2 shoots with bands in the area. im excited. i dont have to ask anyone to do a shoot with me anymore, they've just been getting ahold of me.

yesterday i went to the doctors. i keep losing weight. i eat a lot too. ive lost 6lbs since last month. im down to 113. its nice being this size, i can fit into a lot of my old clothes from years ago, but a lot of them are too big, i guess that means i have to go buy new stuff ;] last night, i hung out with dave & mike. we went to the mall. god, i felt like i was in high school again. i got my daily addiction (starbucks) and we walked around for a while & i got some new clothes from ae & hollister :] we headed over to denny's and met up with ian. im super excited that everyone from dp is transfering to the olive garden. work is getting better and better.

2007-11-19T23:25:00.000-08:00

i feel like i never have time for anything. i am constantly working. work just keeps getting busier and busier since the holidays are pretty much here.

im off until wednesday night. i work 4-close. i gave most of my shifts away this week so i could catch up on things. i want to clean my room inside and out, do every single piece of laundry and spend some time at home. i really haven't been home this week.

it's official. im opening up my etsy store again. my sister inspired me to. she loves it when i sew and make crafts. i can't say no to that. i remember when i was her age, my grandma taught me to sew. i am so thankful for it. i know a lot of people who have no idea how to sew. i was always lucky to have such an artsy family. everyone in my family is that way. i can remember as early as 4th grade, going to penn state altoon for art classes. my parents always told me i had the gift of art.

my mom is a great artist. she always supported our artwork and gave us her opinions. she's crafty too. i think that's where we get it from. marisa is a great artist as well. everything she does turns out great. she's a great photographer too. we pretty much feed off eachother. when she comes home from school we always paint/draw or do something artistic. isabela's starting to catch onto things as well. i think she feed off of us too.

back to the etsy thing...isabela is helping me tomorrow. we are making our seasonal brooches & im taking them into work to sell. they usually do well. the older ladies at work love our things. we are also making the birdie coin pouches. they sell pretty well. if you look in my sold orders on my etsy site, you can see them there.

ill be posting pictures tomorrow.

lets get some things straight...

2007-11-18T17:58:00.000-08:00

as much as i didnt want to do this, i need to get this off of my chest b/c its just been bugging me. i dont care how many people get mad or are insulted by it. it's my right to say what i think and how i feel. so be as pissed as you'd like...what else is new? you already dont like me...right?

i know that my photography isnt the best or the greatest in the world. i am slowly working to make it better. i am slowly progressing and seeing my work get better and better. there are plently of photographers that are better than me. i refuse to brag. i absoultely hate people who say they are so good at photography or have the best pictures ever. how do you know? aren't you embarrassed to brag about yourself like that? i was always taught to have a high self esteem and be proud of yourself and what you do, but never to brag or be too cocky.

i am only showing you my work here. there are plently of photos that i am very proud of and could easily top what i have posted here and on myspace. i choose not to for the simple fact that id rather keep them to myself. ive known too many people that have had their work stolen and someone else credited themselves.

you may not like my work, but i know plently of people who do. i must be doing something right because ive gotten numerous comments on how my work was "really good" & how they or their band has been talking about getting some pictures done by me. people always tell me i have a natural touch for it or that photography is my calling. ive been setting up shoots with local bands & a couple people who would like family pictures for christmas. i'm pumped :]

i am selling all my cameras, except for the canon. im upgrading to a nicer, newer nikon...the nikon 300 with the 24-120 mm lens. it's my biggest investment yet...about $2700 for everything & well worth it.

i consider photography a hobby. i would never make it a career. thats when you start hating your job and eventually lose interest.

ill always remember one thing that my dad told me..."no matter what you do, you can always be better than one person, but there is ALWAYS going to be someone better than you." that has always made me strive to be better at everything i've done.

so, to everyone that dislikes me and feels the need to say things about me and what i do...mind your own business. stop being jealous of others. you are no longer in high school with no responsibilites. it's time for you to grow up especially now that you have drastic changes in your life and youre an adult now.

that is all.

thank you for reading this & to everyone who's supported me :]

2007-11-15T21:44:00.000-08:00

i have lots and lots of new pictures up on my deviant art account. the link is to the right. check them out :]

finally

2007-11-13T19:06:00.000-08:00

so, friday i took my car to get it inspected. i didnt pass. i need new ball joints, tires, breaks & e-break cables. $430. i started working my butt off on sunday. i finally made all of it tonight, with $10 to spare. its a great feeling knowing i can make that much in 2 doubles and a dinner at work.

knowing this, im ready to start saving for a new car. ive been keeping my eye on a nice gmc envoy @ blue knob. it's $12,000. used of couse, but new to me. its only 4 years old & white!! ive decided it would be my birthday gift to me.

after my new car, ive decided its time to settle down & move out of my house. im going to move out & josh can move in with me and winter. yep. i love josh that much. im definetly looking forward to it. i have a good feeling about it. it's never felt so right.

friday night josh's band played at aldo's. i took lots of pics & was pretty pleased with the turn out. it was a really good time.

you can see more of my pictures on my myspace. the link is to your right.

i landed 2 shoots this week. one is a good friend of mine, another is a girl at work. she wants me to do her children's pictures for christmas. im excited. things are starting to pick up :)

ew

2007-11-11T02:21:00.000-08:00

im so sick of these little girls that are trying to copy me.

you know who you are & i dont need to say anything else.

please stop before i humiliate you for your "origionality".

hahah.

goodnight.

2007-11-06T18:49:00.000-08:00

it seems that i only post after my eventfull weekends...i really dont do much during the week. i work a lot & any second that i'm not, im with josh. we've bonded a lot this weekend & i know for sure we were meant for eachother. we are total goofs with eachother and have such a great time. i know, i know, youre probably thinking that its gross to hear about all that lovey stuff. well, i can't help it. i've never felt this way about anyone before. he is truly amazing :]

saturday, while the guys were at band practice, aleish and i went out to eat & headed to the park to take some pictures. it was really cold out & we didnt stay long. i like this picture the best b/c i love the way my eyes look in it & we're both wearing our furry coats in black & white.

my sister is coming home for the weekend. i'm pumped. i like it when she comes home. i think i feed off of her for art. i paint & get creative when she's around. we have a good time and get really crazy. we drink tons of coffee too. i can't wait until friday!

this coming friday is the big show. josh & his band are playing with his idols & favorite band, electric frankenstein. he's so excited. the decuces are also playing. i had the honor of making the flyer. i'm pretty impressed with myself & how it it turned out. i actually spent time making it on photoshop.

interested in my photography? i recently posted new pictures on my myspace. the link is to the right. add me :]

fun weekend :]

2007-10-29T16:06:00.001-07:00

this weekend was the halloween party at shan nicole's. the gang & myself dressed up and headed out. it was a really good time. i think we all drank too much though ;o) stuff got really crazy, but it was really fun!

saturday night we headed in to aldo's for their halloween party. i didnt dress up. i just sipped on some beer & hung around. nothing too crazy went on there. uncle scratch's played & of course the marauders.
saturday afternoon, josh and i went to the park and took some pictures together. they turned out really nice. there's a whole folder of them on my myspace pictures.

2007-10-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

friday, josh, harry, tommy, aleisha and myself went to see bad religion in allentown. marisa was meeting me there with her friends. i was really excited to see her & watch bad religion with her. marisa and i were up front. we pushed our way through the crowd to get up there. it was well worth it too. near the end of the show, there was a girl behind me who kept pushing me and elbowing me in the back. she was also trying to get in the middle of marisa and i. we were holding hands so we wouldnt lose eachother.

after a couple of minutes, i told the girl to stop. she looked at me and said "fuck you." she pissed me off so bad, i pushed her. i saw her hand come up to hit me and i punched her in the face. out of nowhere, marisa, starting beating the crap out of this girl. i grabbed ahold of her and someone grabbed ahold of me. another person grabbed ahold of that girl. the girl refused to let go of my sister's hair, when she was pulled away from marisa, she grabbed ahold of her plug, causing it to rip. marisa didnt even notice at first, then i noticed blood everywhere. we stayed until the end of the show b/c marisa didnt want to leave. i saw that girl, alone outside, josh wouldnt let me go for anything. at least i got one good punch in, right in her eye.

we went to the allentown hospital, they told us they couldnt do anything for her ear, she'd have to see a plastic surgeon, so we headed home. the drive was 4 hours. it sucked. marisa and i came home and went to bed.

saturday morning, i insisted she went to altoona hospital to get it looked at. we spent 3 hours in the waiting room. we were so lucky, the doctor in the er decided to do it. he specialized in that stuff & happened to be there that day. he said the other doctors would have turned her down. he had to cut a little bit from both sides of her ear, then he stitched it back together. 8 stitches.

i give her so much credit for all the pain she went through & all the blood she lost. so now, she's pretty much back to normal, except she has to wait a month before she can put her plugs back in. i still feel really guilty. i feel like its my fault. i love marisa so much. she always told me she had my back, now i know its true. bad religion was awesome. im glad i got to share that experience (seeing bad religion) with my sister.

fun weekend :)

2007-10-14T11:49:00.000-07:00

this week has been crazy. i decided i no longer wanted to be a blonde & wanted to go back to brunette. well, that didnt work out as planned. since my hair was bleached, the dye came out darker than it should have. so my hair was a dark brown, almost black. it took me 3 days to get it straight. im almost back to my normal hair color, just more brown and less blonde. what a disaster!

friday night we went to shan nicole's. it was a good time. everyone we knew was there. after that, we went to jeffy's where harry and i ended up passing out on the couch. lol.

last night, josh, tommy, alicia, harry and myself went to bedford village for "murder mystery night". it was fun. then we came home and made food & watched "employee of the month"...that's a really funny movie.

i've been looking for a new car, but i haven't seen anything that has caught my eye yet. i want something 4x4. maybe a jeep? not sure yet....

aldo's

2007-10-07T12:56:00.001-07:00

last night we (josh, tommy and myself) went into to aldo's to see our friend's band play. i got some good shoots & even set up a photoshoot with them this week. that's my 3rd one i set up this week. that excites me. i told them that you could look at my portfolio before they considered a photoshoot. their response was "we dont need to see your pictures. we've been told they're good and from what i saw, i liked them." that made me so happy.

everyone was cool with me last night. i had a really good time. i talked to a lot of people i hadn't talked to in months. needless to say, i was pretty popular. i had people crowded around me.

2007-10-02T21:19:00.000-07:00

today i hung out with dave and mike. i did a small photoshoot with dave. we goofed off a lot & my pictures aren't too serious. it was a good time. i got to play with the settings on my d40, i haven't had a chance to yet.

i have a shoot this week with natalie & her little boy, hunter. we are still picking a place and a day. ill post them when the day i do the shoot.

2007-10-01T00:13:00.000-07:00

scoob's was fun. a little crazy. especially when your boyfriend is pouring beer all over your expensive camera. all in all, it was a good time :)

alright...

2007-09-24T12:19:00.000-07:00

i'm selling my fuji finepix s700 digital camera...why? b/c i need money, bad. no money = no car b/c it wont be inspected :o(

this camera is only a month old. all of my most recent pictures were taken with it. if you want something more than a point and shoot camera & dont have a lot of experience or knowledge, this is perfect.

i bought this b/c i dropped my nikon and it's getting fixed. they told me 8 weeks. i can't be without a camera for 8 weeks & i read good reviews on it.

i bought this camera for $250 something (a little more, i cant remember), i'm selling it for $200...remember, it's only a month old.

it's in good condition, no scratches, dings, or marks. it comes with the box, lens cap, neck strap, usb cord, adapter for your tv, never opened software, warranty card and instructions. it takes normal, aa batteries, you can use rechargable ones, which are like $8 at walmart. it takes a sd memory card.

you can read reviews on it at: www.fujifilm.com or http://www.dpreview.com/reviews/specs/Fujifilm/fuji_finepixs5700.asp

if you have any questions, feel free to call me (ill give you my cell on aim or in an email) or send me a message!

email: glitterrxostarr@aol.com
aim: anchors away xx

2007-09-20T05:39:00.000-07:00

i've been so busy with work! when i'm not working, im spending time with justin. i love that boy. i am so glad things have finally worked out. i've never been happier. life has finally fallen back into place. we've been doing a lot of fun things. so far we've gone to the lemon house, the horse shoe curve and portage to see those amazing wind mills that i've never noticed. it seems kind of nerdy, but they're pretty interesting. i never really cared to know anything about the historic landmarks in pa until now.

the other day i came home from work & all of my clothes were piled on top of my lap top. i guess the heat from it made my keys warp, so now i need to buy 9 new keys. they're all retarded and melted :(

2007-09-11T14:12:00.000-07:00

please excuse the shitty picture...yesterday i started my job at the olive garden. i ge to wear a sexy tie! besides that, it's a lot of work. i have to learn wines...body style, the fancy names, how to open a bottle, pouring, and what food goes best with it. we also have to learn what types of ingredients go into the food, etc. etc. its a lot. i feel overwhelmed. im the only one in my class who can carry a tray and has had waitressing experience. i think they have higher expectations of me than the rest of the girls in my class. so far i've pretty much mastered the p.o.s. station (register, placing orders) & table numbers with pivot points (where to stand at a specific table for order taking & serving). next thursday will be my first day alone, serving. i won't be broke anymore...FINALLY!

i want to say that things are good with my life, but right now i just can't. i managed to break someone's heart by trying to make myself happy. i never wanted to do that. needless to say...im not happy yet. things keep going up and down. phone calls with no answer, texts without replies. then sometimes i do get them and things are wonderful. i dont know what to believe or do anymore.

2007-09-09T21:48:00.000-07:00

my cat took the libery to pee in my $70 purse today. nice one abby. i had to dump everything out and clean each item, in depth and throw away some things. im so glad my mom took it to the dry cleaners though. that made my day.

i bought my work shirt today. i had to go all over town & ened up at sears in the mens department. the lady there said that girls from my work come in all the time & most of them get them here. she knew exactly what i needed. i start work tomorrow 9-4. im thrilled.

things are going better i suppose. while i was out and about i got a text to go downtown to see 'kitty whipped' play. i headed down to watch. needless to say, i really didnt make much progress with the whole situation until later tonight. i can finally sleep okay. a large burden has been lifted off my chest.

2007-09-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

OKAY...i need to get a few things off my chest:
1. my sister and brandon created 'dreamfriend'. harry & i continued it at a party at my house with brandon and her, along with my other friends. thats all the further it should go unless we are friends & youre included in it. we're not serious about it. it's a joke. youre just not part of it so you decide to make fun of it. sorry you got left out. haha.

2. ...it's for WOMEN. NOT MEN! duh.

3. im pretty sure christ stole my cat! star ran away months ago. one day i was running past his house & what so i see in the window?! a white cat! ahaha.

4. i'm drinking my ass of tonight. why not? football's another good reason to drink.

5. i start my job monday & i haven't read all of my books yet.

i got my pictures from the shoot the other day. needless to say, i really didnt like the way i looked in them. no offense to mike at all, i still had a sinus infection and i was really sick too. it was so hot, being sick just made it worse. i dont know what compelled me to get out of bed and go take pictures. lol.

i have a shoot this week with my friend katie from go fly a kite. she's a professional photographer in pittsburgh. she's been working with models, going to fashion shows, doing shoots & interships in new york...she's coming to altoona to visit family. this shoot is going to be an all day event. driving to random places, lots of clothing changes, makeup, hair, the works. i can't wait!!

that is all.

2007-09-07T22:30:00.000-07:00

ahahahaha.
you just put "ass" in harassment suit.
i just heard that and it was halarious.

2007-09-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

i feel so much better than i have been feeling. yesterday was the first time i left the house in 3 days. i was so sick. im glad i can finally get up and walk around and do things without the feeling of passing out.

i had a photoshoot with mike of wingz photography yesterday. i havent seen the pictures yet. i hope they turned out good. we went to the railroader's museum to do them. it's really nice down there. im ready to ditch my fuji and invest in a nikon again. i read great reviews on fuji so i decided to make the switch. now i totally regret it. im still working on my canon. i dont have money to buy film and special batteries for it yet. im working on it ;)

i hung out with harry and tommy last night. we really didnt do anything. tommy and i went to the mall so he could get a cd, then we went back to harrys. we walked up to the piperoom, i was way too sick to drink. beer just looked bad to me.

i start work on monday, i need to catch up on my reading so i know whats up at class on monday. i have 2 weeks of traning. m-f 9-4. no weekends for now :o) i cant wait to start serving!

2007-09-05T20:55:00.000-07:00

i try to post a picture with every blog. it makes it more interesting, dont you think? i love winter. he's my pride and joy. the best cat, EVER.

i am so torn and lost for words. the whole situation confuses me and makes me just an emotional wreck. my feelings keep going up and down. i keep telling myself it's not good for me. then i keep telling myself that this could be the best thing in your life b/c if it works, its forever. the rest of your life. forever. god, i wish he knew. i just want to cry and cry. i could have him, but part of me knows he doesnt want me anymore. there is this amazing guy who would do anything for me, i keep pushing him away because i want this so bad & nothing else. i hope he finds a really good girl. he deserves it. i hope you know that im doing this for you. i am fighting for us. are you?

i'm still sick. its not getting better. it feels worse. i tried to get up and walk over to the bathroom today which is like 5 feet away, i thought i was going to pass out. i spent my day laying on the couch, watching america's next top model. every single episode. im a loser.

i honestly hate my life right now. you have no idea. i just want to curl up and cry.

atreyu - exs and ohs

2007-09-04T15:05:00.000-07:00

im sick. i woke up this morning and my throat hurt & my nose is so stuffy. i feel like i have a sinus infection. UGH! I HATE BEING SICK!

my mom and i went to state today to visit my sister. we took luci, her cat. she was so excited.

i start my job on monday. im super excited. i will finally have money. im ready to move out. i am shooting for the end of october. that gives me time to save & be a little bit ahead.

i hope tonight's a good night. im looking forward to it. lets cross our fingers.

2007-09-02T03:39:00.000-07:00

i had to be at work at 10 yesterday. it kind of sucked b/c i had to do 3 hours of paperwork. i guess it's well worth it though. being a waitress is really nice. you pretty much determine how much money you want to make. working at don pablos, the business was pretty slow, i managed to make anywhere from $300 - $600 a week. it's hard leaving work with that much in your hand and trying not to spend it. i can only imagine how much i'll make at my new job. i refuse to go back to being paid by the hour.

josh, harry, tommy and i went to the hidden reservior for a couple hours. it's so nice up there. i got to put my new canon to the test for some pictures. it did pretty well. i need to buy more lenses for it, eventually. picture below: taken with my fuji s5 pro.

i'm hanging out with the girls tonight. i can't wait!! it should be exciting ;)

2007-09-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

since some people are pretty immature & result to fighting online, i had to remove anonymous comments for the time being. lets hope they grow up soon.

2007-08-31T11:45:00.000-07:00

today i moved the rest of my furniture in, hooked up my tv & my xbox...finally!! i can't wait until i start my job. i love being busy. you tend to get things done...well at least i do.

my best friends are coming home school today so i get hang out with them all weekend. this should be crazy!

there are these 2 girls...of course, they're younger than me, they're starting drama again just because my ex and i were talking. i'm almost 24. who needs that bullshit? that's high school stuff & high school was 5 years ago. GET OVER IT. it shouldnt matter who i talk to.

hahah. okay, i need to get away from the computer. i need to do laundry.

listening to: sublime - santeria

2007-08-30T10:10:00.001-07:00

a few weeks ago, i made cupcakes for the guys while they were at work. i was pretty proud of them. i got my inspiration from yarnstorm. her blog is amazing.

ive decided that im going to bake something spectacular tonight. hmmmmmmm...but what?

i got a suprising phone call this morning from the ex. i was informed it's over. no surprise there, i already knew that.

this weekend should be eventful. for not working, (i dont start my job until sept. 10th) i have a lot to do! the girls are coming home from school. i can't wait!

a better day...

2007-08-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

things are slightly better today. im forcing myself to do things. ive also accepted the fact that it's probably over between us. i guess its better to think negative about it so i dont get my hopes up.

i got hired at the olive garden today. that makes me happy. i really needed a job. i can cross that one off my 'to do list'. orientation...sat. @ 10am. classes, sept. 10th. i guess thats better than nothing...2 week vacation! ;)

2007-08-26T18:52:00.000-07:00

there is that person you KNOW you have to be with.

you can't be without.

no matter what.

what do you do when that person doesnt feel the same?

2007-08-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

tonight i am opening shop again.
yay.

i have a busy day ahead.

- interivew @ 3:15
- b&n for books and the regular tall mocha frap @ starbucks.
- micheals for supplies.
- sewing for the rest of the night!
- listing new items :)

check back later.

2007-08-22T20:20:00.000-07:00

listening to: boys like girls - 'holiday'

im somewhat curious as to how many people actually ready this. let me know. it would be neat to see how people actually give a shit about it.

if youre interested in trading links, contact me.

im thinking about moving to livejournal. you would be able to leave comments there. ive also thought about sewing & selling my art again. possibly reviewing other sites as well...maybe a domain?? not sure. there is too much floating around in my head right now.

i have an interview at the olive garden tomorrow. im excited. that could = big bucks = moving out soon. i would LOVE to be moved out by christmas & have my own christmas, in my own apartment.

maybe.

maybe.

too much drama.

2007-08-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

to all of my friends/co-workers at don pablos:

work has been way too dramatic and its too much stress. i shouldnt have to worry about work, outside of work. my parents even told me to quit. they feel that i have to come home from work every night, complaing about my job, its not worth it. i shouldnt have to question myself about going in or not.

the reason things are the way they are is b/c of our managment. ever since our g.m. left, things haven't been right. schedules are messed up, people are getting promised days off & not getting them and the managers have poor attitudes. the whole 'mallory & lindsay' episode wasn't handled correctly either.

i've never seen so many people walk all over management and get away with it.

i KNOW i am not the only person who sees something wrong with this place.

i feel it's better that i quit & live off of the money i have now, then to work at a place like that.

im a waitress, its not like my job is rare to find. im sure i will be able to get another one.

for now, im on vacation :o)

ick.

2007-08-19T18:58:00.000-07:00

i feel like i'm getting sick. i just have that awful hot/cold feeling and my knees just hurt. i feel really bad b/c ive been telling josh i would take lunch in for him to work & every time, i blow it off. i'm sorry josh.

my parents called today. they're in myrtle beach. they rescued a dog from being killed at a sheleter. my mom does things like that. she felt bad. i guess they were taking it back and she told them she wanted it. it's an american bulldog/pittbull mix. he's cute. she sent me a picture.

i FINALLY got to be with josh last night. it was so nice to be able to lay around with him & just joke again like before. we are inseperable. i swear we were meant for eachother :o) i'm almost 24 & i feel that i'm at that age now, where i should find someone and just, settle down. no more dating around. settle down, eventually start life together. be happy. he makes me happy. i think he's going to be nice & suck it up & watch the notebook with me tonight. hahah. *sigh* i love him.

2007-08-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

i wish my parents would come home. im sick of eating at work every night & when i get home i'm too tired to cook. ive been eating out too much. i KNOW i gained weight. i know i did.

marisa's home from her trip.
she biked a hundred and something miles to a rainbow gathering. she hitch hiked home. there were some crazy pictures. its nice to have company at the house again.

i had to be at work at 8 this morning. we had an exiciting meeting. i was late. 2 min. late. everyone stared at me when i walked it. dont you hate that? after that, things were fine & we continued our meeting. so, after we went to denny's and grabbed some coffee. everyone felt like our morning shouldnt be over, so we went to legion park. its the most beautiful, coolest park ever. ive spent a lot of time there. in fact, when i was in 5th grade, which would have been about 13 years ago, i helped build it. woo!

i have to work tonight at 5. don pablos ruined my life. i know there is going to be a lot of drama. the 2 girls that were giving me shit at work are getting their write ups tonight. they have no idea either. this should be interesting.

josh FINALLY comes home tonight. after a week without him. it felt like this week took forever to get here but now that it's here, it feels like it passed really fast. he should be home in 7 hours. i can't wait.

i believe in karma.

2007-08-18T00:24:00.000-07:00

this week has been pretty rough. it started off good. i had a small party at my house, just some friends from work.

i dropped my nikon camera. the swivel lens just kind of broke off. its going to take 8 weeks to get it back. thank god the ex bf bought a damage protection warranty on it. it was free to get fixed. otherwise, it would have been $148. i bought a new camera 2 days ago & i'm happy with it.

there are these 2 girls at work that have been causing problems. ive asked several times what the fight was about that i got really dumb answers like "im going to kick your ass, thats what its about." i just laugh to myself because these girls are 19 & 21. they are acting like 14. we all got written up for "creating a hostile work enviroment." bullshit.

dear don pablos,
kiss my fucking ass.
love,
mar